whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
