Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
