dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
