Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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