I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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