no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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