Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
