This is not my ceiling
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize