Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize