He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
