We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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