Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
