You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
