I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I understand Curling. That high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
