last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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