Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
