If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
