so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
