my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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