I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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