i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
