no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
