so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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