I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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