Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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