Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
smell my finger.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
