I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
