Dual....:-)
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
