I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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