my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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