He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
