I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
