oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
