Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
