Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
