Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
