tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
