is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
