do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize