Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
