but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
