During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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