do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
