either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
