Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
