Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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