We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Vodka?
Forever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
