I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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