I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This toilet bowl is my home.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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