How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
