Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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