Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize