I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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