Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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