i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
