do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
