I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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