I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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