Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize