i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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