one might say we're banned from that church
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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