good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
