Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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