you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we're making bets on your personal life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
