i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
