I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
