You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I need to align my fucking chakras
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
