Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
