I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
