Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
