now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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